{{NSFW}}
I've never been a superstitious person. Probably because I'm an atheist (le fedora tipp). But, this one EVENT, would change my perspective of the world forever. It was a dark night. I was watching the latest episode of the Bill Cosby Show (mind you this was before he was convicted of rape). I was enjoying it along with my freshly baked turd muffins, but I heard a creek from closet. I noticed the closet doors were open. They weren't like that when I sat on my bed to watch TV. I quickly grabbed a dad's dildo under my bed (don't ask) to defend myself. I was alone in the house. "I'm not afraid of you fuckers" I said while I walked towards the closet. "We're not afraid of you either" whispered a voice from in my room. I shit so many bricks that my pants were ripped right open. I jumped on the bed, trying to understand what the fuck happened. But then I remembered on /x/ what to do in this scenario. I ripped off my clothes and started fapping furiously. From that day on, no ghost ever came to my room. Until my 36th birthday, where I woke up with something inlodged in my ass. "Paybacks a bitch" said a familiar voice. Then I recognized who's voice it was.
Bill Cosby. And he put a fucking timebomb in my ass.
Profit.